We all live in a stressful world, and if somebody tells me to get rid of stress in my life, I just laugh at them! Seriously? Unless I go and become a hermit in some mountains, there is no way I can do that. And yet, I would see people with high jobs or people going through hardships that seem to be unfazed stress-wise. "How in the world???" I used to wonder... But now I know the secret!
The secret lies not in getting rid of stress in your life. That's impossible. The secret lies in how we MANAGE stress. That's right.
Everyone has something going on in their lives. People have broken relationships and divorces that leave them heartbroken for many months or years ahead. People have stressful jobs, with sometimes less than kind bosses, but yet they have families to feed and bills to pay. There are conflicts, problems, issues, things breaking down, injuries, diseases, pollution, peer pressure, family disputes, lawsuits, politics, unemployments, deaths, and so on...
I have experienced a fair share of stress to know exactly what it does. Stress is the silent killer that brings diseases, breaks down relationships and sometimes leaves you crying on the floor. Been there, done that. I have gone through a bad marriage breakup - it wasn't even a divorce, it was an annulment. I have gone through a heavy depression where I had suicidal thoughts, because I thought that death will end my suffering. I have gone through two serious diseases: severe adrenal fatigue, and crippling Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have had a house fire where I lost everything I've ever owned (including the business I just started, and already paid for client's work) within just an hour. I have gone through a time of hell, unable to find a decent place to live and moving 6 times in one year. At one point I came close to being homeless, because I had nowhere to go. I have lost a job, and came to a point of having no income for a few months with depression looming over my head every single day. I have gone through my share of nightmares.
That's when I decided that my circumstances will NOT control how I feel. I realized I had the power to control how I react to stress. Lack of money and depression will have no control over my life! I decided I will manage stress rather than give into it!
5 Steps I Use To Manage Stress
I want to share with you 5 steps that helped me take ownership of my situation, my emotions, my reactions to stress. I'm sure there are more ways than five, but these had the biggest impact on my life and helped me the most. You don't have to feel helpless. They can help you too, if you chose to implement them in your life. But beware: they are simple, but not easy. Not easy, but not impossible.1. How You Start Your Day Matters
How you start your morning will set the tone for the rest of the day. That's just how it is, if you start your day stressing over stuff before you even roll out of bed, the stress will follow you till you roll back to bed. It will be present in everything you do that day and it'll generally affect you and the people you come in contact with.
What do you do first thing in the morning? Jump out of bed and turn TV on? Get online, check your Facebook feed? Get on your phone and scroll through Instagram, Twitter or Vines? Check stocks or jump into business matters? Go over your to do list for the day? Maybe you don't even have breakfast but just get dressed and rush to work? If you do, ditch it. Do this instead:
-Have a quart of lemon/honey water when you wake up. It will have a cleansing effect on your body, will help your liver to detoxify after night's work and will start up and soothe your digestion. How many times your stomach twists in knots from stress? Help your tummy do its job better by starting the day right.
-Do not turn your TV on, especially the News. In case you haven't noticed, there is rarely ever anything good on the News, and listening to it only brings the blood pressure up and sets you up for a stressful day.
-Your social media feed can wait. Don't start the day with the opinions and rants of other people. You have enough of your own, Facebook, Twitter and the like can wait.
-Have a quiet morning time. Pray and meditate, read the Bible or something inspired and motivational. Morning time has a special kind of peace in it, embrace it, drink it up, own it, feel it, make it a part of you. Allow the peace to enter your heart and think only positive thoughts. Go outside and listen to the birds, breathe in the fresh morning air and feel the peace filling your heart. Have a special prayer time, talk with God and ask for leading and blessings today, He won't disappoint you.
2. Attitude of Gratitude
Having the attitude of gratitude will change your outlook on life and on stress. Being thankful allows you to see the positive in life, while the negative -while still there- doesn't look so big and impossible anymore.About a year ago I got a little notebook and everyday I began writing 10 things I'm thankful for. These were tough times for me, as I was going from place to place, not being able to find a permanent place to live, while dragging with me the few bags of stuff I acquired since the fire. So writing 10 things every morning wasn't always easy. Often times I wrote the most simple things like "I have a bed to sleep on", "I'm not living in my car", "I had a hot shower", "It's sunny outside", or "I'm still employed". But then I realized I'm really thankful for those things. And that's how I learned to count my blessings, every single one no matter how small. It is a blessing that I am alive, it is a blessing I have two pair of working eyes, blessing that I have a car with gas in it.... I would strongly urge you to start writing 10 things you're thankful for every day. It will change your life.
3. Need vs. Want
Identifying your needs and your wants plays a big role in stress management. It's quite simple: we all need basic things for life and survival, but we all want the extras. I had to learn the hard way. I had to decide whether I NEEDED another pair of pants or I WANTED another pair of pants. I had to learn that my most basic needs were food and water, gas, and the couple of bills I had. Anything besides that was my wants. I already had clothes, maybe not as many as I'd like, but I had things to wear, and getting another pair of pants would often mean one bill unpaid. If I gave into my want, I'd end up stressing out about the unpaid bill. Did I need that stress? No.So think about the difference between need and want. Do you need the cable TV? Do you need another pair of shoes? Do you need to go out for lunch everyday? Just throwing out some examples. It really comes down to what holds higher priority in your life, and realizing that sometimes shifting those priorities can save you from a whole lot of stress.
4. Get Out And Move
For a while I lived in a place that held a lot of stress. I was getting more and more depressed without even realizing it. I would stay in my room, which I began calling a 'cell' and I'd be unmotivated to do anything. I was unemployed for a while and that was the darkest time, where I began losing hope for a normal life again. I was getting tired of my existence and one day I forced myself for a walk. It was like I became a different person. Brain got clearer, negative thoughts went a way, I had hope again. But the moment I stepped back into my 'cell' I was down again. "What gives?" I thought. Then it dawned on me! Duuuuh! I used to be so active outside, hike, run, jog, ride horses, explore... I haven't been doing that for a long while. I allowed the stress to control me. I forgot how moving outside is good for you. I forgot that the oxygen boosts your brain activity, how fresh air beats depression and how exercise produces the feel-good hormone serotonin.Now I'm in a habit of regular outdoor exercise and it makes all the difference in the world! Outdoor exercise bring the stress level down, helps you forget about your troubles, produces positive thought patterns, promotes clarity of the brain so necessary for problem solving, and promotes the feeling of happiness and content, no matter what your current situation.
5. Learn To Give Stress To God
This one was the hardest lesson to learn. Ever. Why? Because I'm an independent and self sufficient woman who doesn't need help from anyone, and who works hard for everything she has. Because I'm proud and stubborn Polish. Because I can do everything by myself, even if it kills me. Man what a fool I was...I was a Christian most of my life, and I knew all about giving your troubles to God, but when it came to the nitty gritty, it was easier said than done. And that's because I had to learn to really trust God, trust that He WILL take care of me in my darkest hour. And that's the kind of faith you learn not from books bur from experience. There comes a time in everyone's life when we have to make a decision, do you trust God or do you trust yourself? I realized that all my life I trusted myself and this is how I landed myself: stressing out over lack of finances so much that my old illnesses started coming back, that I'd began suffering from depression again, that I'd tearfully cry to God in the middle of the night begging for help. But crying out to God as a last resort isn't faith.
Faith is when you believe that God will take care of your needs and you don't stress about them anymore!
It is possible, because God promises to take care of all your needs, He knows them all, so why not trust Him? It is possible because I have experienced it, and I finally had peace in my heart. I took God for His word, that He will do what He said. I wasn't stressing out, I wasn't crying, I wasn't shaking from stress or going out of my mind. I gave it all to God. Was I genuine? I believe God decided to test me: my bank account went into over draft, my rent was fives overdue, I had no money coming from anywhere... But just then, I got some financial help, my bank miraculously covered my overdraft fees, and the landlord wasn't even upset I paid late. That's not all. That was the point when my life began turning around. I suddenly got a job with very high prospects of advancement, and a prospect of having my own place. Suddenly I had income, connections, job that I loved with more to come. All because I took a chance on God and gave my stress to Him.
"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You"
Isaiah 26:3
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