It is time I begin to tell my story to the world. Consider this blog a Preface, or Chapter 1 if you will, as it's impossible to squeeze four years into few paragraphs. It's been about ten years since my battle began, and only few close people saw the real face of the struggle. But today I can say it was one of the greatest blessings of my life when I was diagnosed with Rheumatory Arthritis.
I was always very active physically. I used to ride horses a lot and was very much into running. I thought that as long as I'm active outside, I can pretty much eat, drink and do nything I wanted with no harm. I almost thought I was invincible and untouchable because I was a runner. I was very naive and ignorant, although I didn't think so back then.
Come my University time, I faced a lot of stress and developed pretty bad lifestyle habits.
Unfortunately, I perpetuated the starving artist cliche. I remember a time or two of surviving whole days on one tab of chocolate. Most of days diet consisted of white bread, scrambled eggs, fried beef links and lots of dark tea and soda. The final year at the uni found me pulling many memorable all-nighters in the studio trying to get my projects done on time. The stress ran high, the tears and even disagreements with my professor were not uncommon.
Now, as I look back, I am able to see the whole picture and it all makes sense now. Back then, however, I was relieved to graduate and eventually found an office job. It was to my surprise when one day I noticed one of my finger's joints hurting. I ignored it. We used to shoot rubber bands at each other at the office. One girl, Marcia, was able to kill a fly on the ceiling by shooting a rubber band at it off her finger, and we all wanted to be just as good as Marcia. We had few casualties, although we practiced daily. It was my shooting finger that hurt, so I attributed the pain to the office game.
Only few months later the pain went from finger to wrist, from wrist to elbow, from elbow to shoulder, to the point I couldn't sleep at night because of the pain. I never liked going to the doctor for anything, but the pain was so great that I reluctantly agreed to a visit. Few weeks later I was diagnosed with a full blown Rheumatory Arthritis. I only just turned 27. I graduated less than a year ago. I was only just beginning my adult life. I was devastated.
In a nutshell, that's how it all began. Those of you who were diagnosed with RA, or any other similar disease, you know the pain. You know all about the doctor's visits, the drugs that make you feel more sick than better, the constant blood tests, the stress, worry, depression... You know the daily pain, the pain that no matter what you do just doesn't go away. I used to often say that "just existence alone is painful".
Generally, my life turned into a nightmare. I was put on drugs that made me puke and gave me horrible headaches. The painkillers only partially dulled the pain. I had mandatory blood tests to do to check the state of my liver. Soon, the pain became so crippling that I was afraid to hold anything made out of glass because I may just drop it. Stockings and socks became my enemy. So did buttons. Getting dressed in the morning was tearful and took three times longer than normally. Suddenly, most of my shoes stopped fitting my swollen feet. Mornings were the worst. I would spend 15-20 minutes with hands in scalding hot water making my skin bright pink, because that would be the only thing that made my stiff fingers uncurl. Even my jaw joints began to hurt and two of my toes became permanently disfigured.
I remember the tears, the confusion, the feeling of helplessness and not knowing what to do... I remember my close ones looking at me with sympathy but not really understanding the pain I was in every single second of my life. On those rare occasions when I didn't feel so much pain I would be so happy and I would celebrate a pain free day. Most of the times, however, it was gloom and depression, and stress and crying would make my neck joints stiffen up even more. I felt I was in a vicious circle. I didn't see any way out.
To those who are suffering, I just want to say, I know your pain. I know what it's like to be swollen and in pain for years. But I also know that it doesn't have to be this way! I want to be a light and encouragement to all of you. There is a way out. And I know that because I GOT OUT!
I spent few months in depression and total resignation about my situation. Then I began to pray. And I began to look things up on the internet. I remember my first article I stumbled upon. It intrigued me. It said that our bodies are designed to heal themselves, if we let it, the same way a finger cut heals. Unless we put dirt in it. This was a whole new concept for me. And so I began my journey. I would research like crazy, and one place would lead me to another, and I just dove into the world of information. And I was amazed.
I learned many things and I began implementing them in my daily routines. This meant turning my whole world a complete 180. The foundations of my life were uprooted and I knew I had to start everything all over. It wasn't easy at all. But it was doable and it wasn't long when I began seeing results. I had tears of joy in my eyes when I could walk without pain again, hold and turn the key to my apartment, or, even though still feeling stiff and in mild pain, I was able to saddle up a horse all by myself. And four years later, I had absolutely no swelling and no pain of any kind anywhere.
I want to be able to tell my whole story, how it began, what I went through and what I did to become completely pain free without any drugs. My goal is to write an ebook about my experience. I'm praying that I can be an encouragement to you. I want you to know that there is hope and a light in the tunnel. It is possible to be healthy and pain free because I have done it. And so can you!
If you are interested in learning my story, and learning what I did to get well, please Subscribe to this blog or sign up for the Newsletter (link in the right column). Or leave a comment. I would love to see your support and it would encourage me that much more to keep going with the pre-planning of the ebook. People don't have to suffer, there is hope.
In the meantime, I will continue writing health snippets and sharing with you my love for healthy living, nature and traveling. xoxo
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